now i know why i became what i already was.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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