woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
