What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
