Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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