My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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