pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
