i was born a porn star she said
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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