Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
