The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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