Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I could make wine with my vomit
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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