Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
