Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
