Whod you bang
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
