Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i think im in europe. pls send help
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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