like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
