So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
