Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
