i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
