Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
