I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
