dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
