Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you inspire me to be a worse person
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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