i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
