to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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