Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
