that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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