After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
