can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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