i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
