Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
