is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
