I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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