Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
