I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i permit you to call me
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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