I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
