i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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