Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
