A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
