If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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