My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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