I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
