Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
