Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
