he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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