so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
