Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
