haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
