So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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