Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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