She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
